What Your Nervous System Wishes You Knew About Feeling Overwhelmed

Overwhelm is my favorite emotions to talk. Almost everyone has experienced it and it's so easy to ignore until it's screaming in your face and you're frozen in time, staring blankly into the void, with a body full of tension and a brain like static on a TV screen.

Actual neuroimaging of your brain when you're overwhelmed.

If you're familiar with the feeling, I'm grateful you're here. If not, I'm pretty jealous, but glad you're here none-the-less. But really, in a world of technology and constant, easy distractions how many of us are really taking time outs BEFORE it's really obvious that we need one? I get it, trust me I am a BIG "go-go-go"er. I love filling my plate with as much as I can handle. I mean, I work for a psychiatrist, am working on a masters degree in mental health counseling and 2 certifications on top of that, on top of launching my own business, plus being a wife, dog mom, friend, and an adult. Lucky for me, everything I've learned and am learning about gives me an arsenal of tools to work with to support my mind and body in the midst of chaos, I'm like a dang wellness Rambo.

What is Overwhelm?

According to Brene Brown, PhD, MSW and psychological researcher, overwhelm actually comes from your perception that you're not equipped to handle what's going on around you. Life has simply gotten to be too much, you don't believe you have the coping skills for it, and you're brain is pressing the escape button or doing a hard power-off.

Recognizing When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

• Are your shoulders so tight you're wearing them as earrings? Maybe your jaw is sore or your tongue is swollen from clenching your jaw. Neck is a little extra stiff or that space between your shoulder blades is crying out to you?

• Is your chest tight and your breathing is shallow and short after no physical exertion?

• Have a headache or brain fog? Fatigue or sudden exhaustion?

• Feeling frozen, stuck, or spaced out?

When you're in a state of overwhelm, you are unable to problem solve or make decisions, so stop trying.

"But Roxanne, I'm overwhelmed! What the heck am I supposed to do about it?!"

What a great question, I'm so happy you asked. Ideally, we'd all have a big box of wellness tools to works with to be proactive and never let ourselves get to this point, but between everybody's endless to-do lists I get it's not always easy. A lot of time we're reactive and doing damage control when it's too late. When you notice you're overwhelmed, the first step is to do nothing. No anxiety induced social media scrolling, no making another 900 to-do lists, no planning next steps.

• You take a break (pick your fave and do it)

  • Go for a walk outside: Weather permitting of course. Get some sunlight on your skin, soak up that Vitamin D. Let the breeze clear your mind and the serotonin bring you peace.

  • Move your body: When you get into your body, you get out of your brain and come into the present moment. Exercise releases endorphins and gets blood pumping to your brain which will help your ability to make decisions.

  • Get creative: Scribble in a note book (literally scribble, or doodle, or draw one continuous line),

  • Sing a song: singing activates the vagus nerve which activates your parasympathetic nervous system which calms you down.

  • Tune into the senses: Pet your pet or just something soft and comforting.

Show your overwhelmed brain that it's wrong! You DO have coping skills and you CAN cope with this situation!

• Once you've taken your break, it's time to get centered.

  • Do a grounding exercise: an easy one to tune into all of your senses is the 5-4-3-2-1 - Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.

  • Tune in to your breathing or your body, just notice - what temperature is it in your nostrils, are you feeling more air in your right nostril or your left, is your breath going into your chest or your belly or both?

  • Try a breathing exercise like box breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds.

  
  

• Now you can do the thing. It is manageable, you are safe and equipped to handle it, I promise.

  • Break it down. Write down the one smallest step you can take right now. (Tiny wins build momentum.)

  • Prioritize with kindness. Ask: What actually needs my energy today? What can wait or be let go?

  • Name what you can control. Focus on what’s within your influence, not what's out of reach.

  • Time-block or set a timer. Give yourself 20–30 minutes of focused time, then rest or reassess.

  • Ask for help or delegate. You don’t have to do it all alone—ever.

  • Celebrate doing something. Action, not perfection, is what matters. Even the tiniest step counts.

Preventing Overwhelm Before it Starts

• Prioritize self care

  • Set non-negotiables for yourself: what do you need to feel your best most consistently? I like to break it down into daily, weekly, and monthly.

  • For example, mine look like this...

    • Daily: Movement, mindfulness, sun shine, skin care, and puppy time

    • Weekly: Creative project, social outting, dry skin brushing

    • Monthly: Deep cleaning

• Clarify Priorities

  • When everything feels urgent, nothing truly gets your full attention. Try a weekly “priority reset” to identify your top 1–3 values or goals—and let them guide what gets your yes.

• Practice Saying “No” (or “Not Right Now”)

  • Overwhelm often stems from overcommitting. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re filters that protect your energy. Protect your capacity like it’s sacred (because it is).

• Create Repeatable Systems

  • Decision fatigue is real. Create a routine for simple things like meals, emails, etc. I eat the same thing everyday for breakfast; I know it fuels my body, tastes good, I feel good after I eat it, and it's one less decision I have to make. I'm not saying life has to get mundane, but some consistency is comforting.

• Externalize, Don’t Internalize

  • Write things down, speak them out, or delegate. Keeping your to-do list in your head only amplifies stress. When you get the thoughts out, you can better organize them and sometimes others are a good sounding board for ideas or solutions.

• Monitor Hidden Energy Drains

  • Perfectionism, people-pleasing, doomscrolling, and vague goals - they quietly eat up your energy. Awareness is the first step to changing them.

• Invest in Nervous System Literacy

  • The more you understand your baseline patterns (flight, freeze, fawn, etc.), the quicker you can recognize when you’re slipping into survival mode—and reset before the spiral. Getting to know your bodies unique signals will help you take a break before your brain goes to static.

  

Don't let overwhelm fool you into thinking you can't cope with life.

Prove it wrong and set yourself up for success with really solid and simple self care. You don’t have to hustle your way back to balance. You can reset, one small, kind step at a time. Start by choosing just one strategy from above and giving yourself permission to do less, more intentionally. Your nervous system (and your future self) will thank you.